I am ending a very difficult year in business. This year has been both exciting and more stressful than ever. God opened the doors for an amazing business opportunity just as I was considering closing my doors.
After being in business for eight years I was tired and worn out with the day-to-day operations of owning and operating a business. The challenges of managing people have never come naturally to me. Dealing with the day-to-day stressors of bills and budgeting (or lack thereof) had drained me. I did not anticipate these things when I started selling bows at a craft fair all those years ago.
In February I lost a key employee due to an internal dispute between employees. Leading up to that bitterness and back-biting tore through my business like never before in the preceding months. I lost many long-time employees and dealt with constant staff turnover. I tried for months to replace my key employee and by the end of March, I was completely worn out. I was seriously considering closing our doors as the building for our current location had sold.
Then, one morning as I was reading my bible I felt a real urgency to reach out to someone I had tried to reach many times before about a new location. When I contacted her that morning to see if the space was still available, she finally responded that it was.
This was not just any space, but a highly sought-after space in a very busy downtown area. Many people had been knocking on her door for months trying to get access to the space. When she agreed to rent to me there was no mistake that it had to be the work of God.
The blessings kept coming as the online business flooded with sales to make the deposit and first month’s rent possible. We had an extremely tight construction time frame when all the contractors were booked months out. We also didn’t have the funds to pay such high construction costs. Thankfully, God provided a contractor that Micah was able to work along with to save costs in a short time frame.
There were many obstacles but God had His hand all over them making a way every time. What about those positions that I was struggling to fill? I have five new, great employees that have been with me since mid-year!
With those five employees and the new location came many more new stressors. There are some pretty big checks to write with a large payroll and a high-rent location. I have not handled the stress of it well. I’ve lashed out at my loved ones and been demanding with employees and others as I struggle.
I know this isn’t God’s plan. I know He is trying to teach me to trust in Him and lay these anxieties at His feet. It is a slow process that He is patiently leading me through. In the midst of it, I get so angry with myself for being such a slow learner. I get really discouraged by all of my failures.
I found a lot of encouragement reading this passage of scripture recently and I wanted to share it with you too. I know I am not the only one that struggles with feeling like a huge disappointment to God and others.
“But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:32 NLT
This is Jesus talking to Simon Peter shortly before he is taken away to be crucified. Can you imagine Jesus himself telling you personally that he pleaded for you in prayer? That would be absolutely amazing! Surely the prayers of Jesus himself would be answered!
When you continue reading the story, it seems as if the prayers of Jesus were not answered. Peter denied Him three times. It looks like his faith DID fail. Yet, Jesus’ prayers were answered in an unexpected way. After this time of trial and denial, Peter went on to never deny Jesus again. He was critical in the forming of the new church. Jesus said about Peter that he was the rock upon which he would build his church (Matt 16:18).
Making mistakes can be part of learning. My daughter is a young athlete and many times the crowd collectively cringes as one child hits the ball out of bounds instead of at their target. Every time a child sends a ball in an unintentional direction they are creating muscle memories. Over time they learn exactly which angle they need to hit the ball to send it where they are intending.
Just like we don’t want them to beat their little selves up as they are learning the correct way to kick or throw a ball, we don’t need to keep beating ourselves up for our mistakes. When we do, it does not make us a better person. Instead, it keeps us burdened down and ineffective in God’s kingdom. Only when we accept God’s forgiveness (and stop beating ourselves up) will be able to live the full and abundant life He has in store for us.
Just like with Peter, Jesus is interceding for us too (Heb 7:25). We shouldn’t think we can accomplish the plans He has for us on our own. He does not expect us to and we shouldn’t either. Reach out to God with all of your failures and ask for His help. The answers may not come as you expect them to, but they will come.
As the New Year begins I believe and trust that God is going to work his plan to completion in me and you too. I know that He is able to do more than we ask or imagine as we go to Him with our failures and fears.
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” (Eph 3:20 NLT)